Spiritual Awakening of a Recovering Alcoholic. Translation Spanish to English

Thesis

Sofia Rosendo

Translation

Edwin Duarte

Title: “The Spiritual Awakening of a Recovering Alcoholic”

Summary.

Alcoholism is known as a chronic disease, progressive and deadly (ENA, 2011), even though there is no cure, it can be treated. The Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.) program, which is the treatment many of the afflicted opt for, eases the recovery process which begins with abstinence, with which, as a result of a “Spirtual Awakening” a gradual yet meaningful transformation can be achieved both in thought and perception as well as in the behaviour of the patient. This thesis’ objective is to explore and describe, from a field point of view, what the “Spiritual Awakening” consists of for a recovering alcoholic and the way it is experienced and what it means to the patient. A case study will be the method used for the qualitative investigation in which the data will be collected through in-depth interviews with five recovering alcoholics who regularly assist an A.A. group inside the installations of Monte Fénix, a rehabilitation clinic. Finally, the subjects will take part in a group discussion to compare information obtained from the first method. Through these results I expect to reach the conclusion that during a “Spiritual Awakening” the change in perception instills a sense of novelty and leads to the update of the self. 

Keywords: Alcoholism, alcoholics anonymous, recovery, spiritual awakening.

Index.

Introduction (Chapter 1)

1. Introduction
2. Research Problem
1. Research question
2. Objective  
3. Hypothesis
4. Justification
5. Scope and limitations
1. Methodology
1. 2.2.1.Qualitative paradigm
2. 2.2.2.Investigation design and data recollection
3. 2.2.3.Research population.
4. 2.2.4. Access to the field
5. 2.2.5.Researchers role

1. Background information

INTRODUCTION

Research Problem.

General Objective.

To explore and describe the alcoholic’s experience, the ordeal of recovery and the relationship that exists between a “Spiritual Awakening” and the latter. 

Specific Objective.

To explore and describe, from a field point of view, what the “Spiritual Awakening” consists of for a recovering alcoholic, the way it is experienced and what it means to the patient.

Research Question.

What is the “Spiritual Awakening” experience for a recovering alcoholic from a Gestalt Therapy point of view?

Hypothesis.

During a “Spiritual Awakening” the change in perception generates a sense of novelty that leads to an update of the self. This means that due to an increased awareness owing to multiple factors, including abstinence, a contact-boundary experience surges in the field with which the sense of novelty is accessed and results in a creative adjustment of a chronic situation that leads the self to unfold and update its functions.

Justification.

Alcoholism is known as a chronic disease, progressive and deadly (ENA, 2011), even though there is no cure, it can be treated. Notwithstanding, when the recovery process begins the relapse rate is very high due to a multifactorial causality. There are many studies that propose that the A.A. program not only aids this process but a gradual yet meaningful transformation can be achieved both in thought and perception as well as in the behaviour of the patient, this process in known as recovery. Due to its anonymous nature, it is impossible to pinpoint the exact number of members A.A. currently has, though there are estimates that there may be as many as 2,000,000 recovering alcoholics living by the principles of this program world wide. These recovering alcoholics themselves claim to have transformed their lives in a radical way because of a “Spiritual Awakening” they experienced, whose exploration could help understand the magnitude of an experience so vast and decisive that it is capable of altering the course of their very existences.

Spirituality is a cornerstone for A.A.’s recovery process and is actually part of the suggested twelve step program which alcoholics use in order to achieve sobriety. Once abstinence is achieved, as time passes, the recovering alcoholics manifest a change of conducts and attitudes which originate with an experience known to them as a “Spiritual Awakening”. Therein lies the relevance of this thesis, in exploring an experience with such potential for transformation.

The aim of this investigation is to present an aspect of the recovering patient’s path that has yet to be documented. Aside from what the official A.A. literature details, there are no previous investigations which makes information on this topic scarce. In order to  understand and approach this phenomenon reported by recovering alcoholics, it is crucial to fill in the investigative blanks, which are, not only the importance attributed to spirituality in the recovery process of an alcoholic, but also the description, meaning and impact of a “Spiritual Awakening” experience within the path to recovery.

The results of this research would be useful to professionals who specialize in addiction treatment or for those who may find themselves with an addict in therapy as it would allow for a phenomenon that is not only implicated in the recovery process, but also seems to benefit the process itself, to be understood. The gestalt-oriented view of the thesis on this matter presents a vision of the field in which the subject stops having the lead role to finally yield due consideration to the environment and thus fostering a wider perspective on alcoholism. The aforementioned could be of interest and would prove useful for those who have kin who suffer from alcoholism and seek to understand what dependancy consists on, the recovery process and its interrelation with spirituality, which may, in turn, convert them into support. Moreover, for any alcoholic who finds him or herself in the process of recovery, specially those who have recently begun to transit this path, this research could prove helpful to raise awareness about the disease, learning about the field and the way they interact with it and even allowing them to conceive new ways in which they may positively affect  their recovery process.

Scope and limitation.

In this investigation we will make our first approach to the “Spiritual Awakening” through the experiences of our subjects and the meaning that they, themselves, allot to it with the intention of nearing a more complete understanding of this phenomenon. Next we will describe the depth of the concept using approved and suggested literature from A.A. which generally conveys this as a transformational experience.

The limitations of this study are the following:

1.- Offering an exact and objective definition to the term “Spiritual Awakening” as well as knowing its origin and evolution. When speaking of such abstract terms, it is not only difficult to find suitable data or that is non-contradictory about everything this entails but it is also difficult to appreciate the genesis and the development of this phenomenon. The data obtained will be based on the subjective experience of each subject.

2.- The inception of the concept of “Spiritual Awakening” for each subject. In spite that A.A., as well as literature approved by the organization, constantly refer to this term, it is not a unified concept which in turn leaves each recovering alcoholic to use or understand the concept as they see fit, not necessarily referring to the phenomenon we wish to explore.

Methodology

Qualitative Paradigm.

The qualitative investigation is multi method, naturalistic and interpretative. (Denzin and Lincoln Vasilachis, 2006, p.24) and it aims to define the phenomenon through the patients own meanings and establishes an holistic approach to the reality of the situation we wish to address. Qualitative methods constitute a way to see and the means to conceptualize (Morse, Vasilachis 2006 p.27) which is why this will be the focus by which we will board our thesis.

Little is known about the topic of an alcoholic’s recovery, even less is known about the “Spiritual Awakening” he or she may experience during said process. The context for investigation is deficient due to the fact that researchers who have tried to delve in the subject of alcoholism, in the great majority, have never been through concerning processes of addiction, which would not only allow them to question themselves and explore more subtle nuances, it would also make entering the research field much easier as it would always be accesible and through personal experience, would create an opportunity to build authentic bridges of understanding with the recovering alcoholics. In articles such as “Spirituality and its relationship with alcoholism recovery in Alcoholic Anonymous members” (Gutierrez Reynaga R., Andrade Palos, P., Jimenez Tapia, A., & Juarez Garcia, F. 2007) the authors conducted a quantitative investigation in which vast ideas such as “spirituality”, “superior power” “recovery” and “spiritual awakening” (amongst others) were reduced to mere variables when clearly these are phenomena that require a focus that allows us to capture, define or interpret our subject in terms of the meaning being granted by recovering alcoholics. (Denzin & Lincoln, Vasilachis, 2006 p.24). For Silverman (Vasilachi, 2006 p.26) the methods employed in a qualitative study can provide a deeper understanding of social phenomena due to the fact that it allows us to explore territories such as those of personal experience, language, cultural meanings and forms of social interaction.

When speaking of alcoholism the limits of the field of action are usually barely defined, as it tends to separate the subject that manifests the symptom of dependancy  from his spheres of influence hence becoming an obstacle for the discernment of the interrelationship between them, as well as for the interaction of these elements within the subject itself. Also, the nature of the phenomenon is not clear, which leads me to believe the subject must be examined from a perspective that allows us to observe that which is known as alcoholism to reach certain depth in the situation of both dependancy and recovery as it arises in the field. 

The qualitative investigation allows us to understand, make the individual case meaningful in the context of theory and notice similarities in other cases. (Morse, Vasilichis 2006, p.27) The present thesis is based on this paradigm since it pays special attention to the knowledge, experiences, stories, senses and meanings that recovering alcoholics have and being that only they have gone through a “Spiritual Awakening”, at least in the context of rehabilitation, are the most suitable to describe and explain, from their representations, their transformational experience. Above all, I believe that when engaged in controversial subjects such as spirituality and alcoholism, on which preconceived notions are abundant, applying a method that enables the researcher to maintain an open mind, receptive and flexible in the proximity to the phenomenon and the afflicted in order to reach a genuine understanding of the situation, is necessary.

Investigation design and data recollection

The case study consists on addressing particularities, prioritizing unique cases, where the particular’s effectiveness outweighs the validity of generalizations. (Stake, Vasilachis, 2006, p.219). Blasco (Valisachis, 2006, p.219) mentions that the choice of the case is the result of a thematic clipping and that the case study is defined for the interest in itself. The gist is the depth and global knowledge of the case and not the generalization of results over the latter. This leads me to believe that a case study as the design of this investigation is the adequate path to understanding and describing this phenomenon. 

The design of this investigation has the capacity to capture the complexity of the context and its relationship with the events studied in this phenomenon (Yin, Vasilachis, 2006, p.223) although the limits between these factors may become blurred. When an experience such as a “Spiritual Awakening” arises in a recovering alcoholic, a necessity to imbue oneself in a series of processes and concepts surges in order to be able to observe and analyze the myriad facets that the phenomenon might possess, this with the intention of elucidating the interconnection of the elements that form it.

The case study as the design for this investigation establishes a strategic empirical investigation which boards contemporary phenomenon in meaningful and holistic ways and in their specific context, aimed to answer how and why questions about why these issues take place under examination. (Yin, Vasilachis, 2006, p.223) Currently, addictions are problems that burden society in different areas, which is why the contributions obtained from exploring this subject will present a new way to board the phenomenon which would, in turn, enrich knowledge in this field, promoting, through the autoregulation of substances, the opportunity to begin a process of evolution towards a more supportive and functional field. A group of A.A. members that are in a specialized  addiction clinic, which is the investigative field that we have access to, represents a sufficiently defined context to be able to answer the type of questions that we will pose in this study. This sample group was formed in function of our thematic and conceptual interests, which is why five recovering alcoholics, who met diverse criteria, where asked to participate in this study to analyze each one of their cases as a starting point for the development of this thesis.  (Vasilachis, 2006, p.219)

This design undertakes multiple cases as it enables us, from different instances of comparison, to extend the empiric results toward phenomena of similar conditions and more general levels of theory in addition to elaborating causal (local) explanations referred to the understanding of specific processes in defined contexts. (Miles & Huberman, Vasilachis 2006, p.225) Through case studies, the experience known as “Spiritual Awakening” will be analyzed for each of the five participants, extrapolating aspects of their stories that concur or manifest similarities, this will enable us to, through comparison and contrast, reach a better understanding of the phenomenon. This type of design also offers the opportunity to replicate our findings and results of the investigation permitting us to further construct and develop this theory (Vasilachis 2006, p.225) which is why this thesis could cement the bases for future investigation about both the alcoholic experience as well as the recovery experience. 

The first technique used will be in-depth interviews as these interviews allow us to capture and describe, as richly as possible, the complexity of a phenomenon as vast as the “Spiritual Awakening” of a recovering alcoholic as well as its context, respecting the point of view of the involved social actors. (Vasilachis, 2006, p.220). The in-depth interview will follow a “conversation amongst peers” model, consisting of reunions guided towards the comprehension of the perception that the participants have about their lives, experiences and situations through their own words. (Taylor & Bogdan, Robles, 2011, p.40) The spontaneity of this technique facilitates the attainment of data in a very natural and flexible manner that enables us to inquire into more interesting aspects, according to the goal our investigation, that surface in our studies, respecting and taking as a reference the sense granted to the phenomenon by the participants. During an in-depth interview there is no formal exchange of questions and answers, instead a script with general topics is tailored, topics which we slowly address. Its casual demeanor creates a less threatening atmosphere which empowers interviewees to express themselves in a freer fashion which will eventually build a close connection with the researcher. (Cicourel, Robles, 2011, p.40)

Subsequently there will be a group discussion due to the fact that this technique produces data that is hard to come by via any other means, natural situations are built where spontaneity is possible and in which, because of the permissive environment, opinions, feelings and personal desires emerge that would not in more rigid experimental environments. (Gil s.f. p.12) This method consists on an investigation technique that allows us to recollect information through the interactions that a group develops around a subject determined by the investigator. (Morgan, Arboleda, 2008, p.70) The interaction between participants generates a debate surrounding the topics we wish to explore, which allows us to recollect new information that we may compare to previously obtained data form the in-depth interviews. The group discussion causes each participants representations, opinions, attitudes, behaviours, and symbolic systems regarding the “Spiritual Awakening” experience to be brought into play, which will result in certain postures and conceptions reaching either a consensus or  a polarization of the participants involved.  (Cervantes, Arboleda, 2008, p.71)

Research Population.

The research population we will be studying consists of five recovering alcoholics, three men and two women, this is due to stigmatization and the sexual harassment imposed by a sexist society, in this case mexican machismo, on women that are afflicted by any kind of addiction. Men form the vast majority in A.A.

Inclusion criteria: 

• Participants must have had a “Spiritual Awakening” experience that is consistent with the concept found in approved or suggested A.A. literature, this is the concept we will be using as reference for this investigation.

• Participants can be at any stage of their lives as there is no minimum or maximum age to begin the recovery process in spite of the fact that the longevity of the patient  may affect the experience and conscience he or she has of the phenomenon.

• Participants may be male of female for the reason that gender is not a determining factor in the experience we wish to investigate. 

• Participants must belong to the group ‘San Bernabé II’ which is the field we will have access to in order to carry out this investigation, this is where we will recollect the data.

• Participants must have been sober for at least a year, since the first year is the most dangerous stage for relapse in a process of abstinence.

• During their active stage, participants could have consumed not only alcohol, but any addictive substance because, after all, both alcohol and substance addiction consist on a situation of dependancy  to the same category of objects. 

Exclusion criteria.

• Recovering alcoholics that do not respect the principles and traditions of A.A. as they do not manifest the guidelines suggested by A.A. in order to become part of the group and follow the twelve step program. 

• Recovering alcoholics who are not part of the twelve step program. Even though I cannot ensure that the “Spiritual Awakening” experience for a recovering alcoholic is strictly tied to  the A.A. program, I do believe that its study and application ease the genesis and development of this phenomenon. 

• Recovering alcoholics that once belonged to the San Bernabe II group but that actually work with different groups, this is in order to define our investigative field as well as to reduce the possible sample size. 

Access to the field.

Access to the field will consist of assisting the daily reunions for the San Bernabé II group which will take place from 19:45h to 21:15h Monday through Friday, and 12:00h to 13:30h on Saturdays and Sundays to take notes on anything which might be useful for this investigation. I will meet with the participants, before or after the reunions (depending on a schedule that the participants may find practical) to carry out the case studies. In one occasion I would need all the participants to come in at the same time so that I may conduct the group discussion, this would have to be scheduled beforehand in order to find a suitable time for all five participants.

The A.A. San Bernabé II  group consists of men and women (it is impossible to pinpoint the exact number of recovering alcoholics that comprise A.A. as there is no registration of members in an attempt to protect the anonymity of the members, nevertheless, the reunions in this particular group are usually comprised of about 20 recovering alcoholics, some recurring members, others sporadic) practicing different religions, who cover a wide range of ages (ages range from 16 to 80 in this particular group) as well as different social standings in which we find predominantly (according to observation and testimonies) middle and upper middle class.

San Bernabé II is located inside the compound of the addiction treatment clinic known as Monte Fénix in Las Flores St. #439, Álvaro Obregón, San Angel Inn, 01060 Mexico City.  I, as an ex-patient, have direct and unlimited access to this institution  (for the exception of areas where the inpatients can be found). I requested a permit to use the multipurpose rooms to carry out, during times when the room will be available, the case studies as well as the group discussion.

These rooms are adjacent to the group I intend to study, they are equipped with illumination, air conditioning, chairs, tables and even potable water which make these rooms quite convenient and practical for me as well as for the participants.

The length of my stay in the field will be approximately six weeks  during which I will execute the data recollection techniques in the following manner:

• Week 1 (24th -30th of April) Interview with participant number 1 (Enrique)
• Week 2: Interview with participant number 2
• Week 3: Interview with participant number 3
• Week 4: Interview with participant number 4
• Week 5: Interview with participant number 5
• Week 6: Group discussion.

Researchers role.

Vasilachis (2006) mentions that whoever is handling the investigation must have social  and theoretical sensitivities, must maintain an appropriate analytical distance and, at the same time, appeal to his theoretical knowledge and experience. The researcher must also have a keen sense of observation. As my interest for the subject stems from my first hand experience with alcoholism I consider myself to be tactful and delicate enough to explore sensible aspects of a subject that involves a situation of dependancy. This implies that forming a connection with the participants on an emotional and cognitive level will result naturally and will automatically foment the formation of a link since I have had a chance to experience the world in a similar fashion as they have. (Rager, Vasilachis, 2006, p.34) Consequently, it is inevitable for me to be stirred by their testimonies, I must be very cautious to manage aspects that may pose a threat to them. The aforementioned means that although I may be tapping into the essence of the suffering elicited by the patients I will have to remain stoic to make these experiences available to   others.

As a qualitative investigator, my role involves observation through a phenomenological attitude in order to collect information and produce data that will help me describe the phenomenon in question. For this, I will have to analyze both the manifest, explicit, and conscious aspects as well as the implicit subjacent ones. Even though I’m responsible  for getting involved with the participants and their personal experiences along with generating rapport, I must not interfere with, alter their processes or impose an external point of view. It is also necessary to be sensible to the effect I cause in the field and will  try to interact with the participants in a natural and nonintrusive manner, following an holistic perspective. Equivalently I must be prepared to handle paradoxes, uncertainty, ethical dilemmas and ambiguity if the need arises. 

I chose this subject for my thesis because four years ago I became an inpatient in Monte Fénix due to the problems I had owing to my consumption of alcohol. I recognized myself as an alcoholic and since then I began a recovery process in which I maintain myself. Considering the institution in which I was a patient in worked with the Minnesota Model, I was in contact with the A.A. program from the very beginning and have continued working with it ever since. I consider this program to be the main reason I achieved sobriety. Because of this, I am very familiarized with the progression of the disease, as well as the series of events that take place in a recovery process in which I believe the “Spiritual Awakening” is of great relevance due to its transformational nature. Personally, said experience altered the course of my life and through the shared experiences of my fellow recovering alcoholics and by the observable changes in their attitudes and behaviour, I have come to believe that it establishes the origin of the process that allows us to reach sobriety. For this reason, I believe it is a phenomenon well worth exploring, more so through the eyes of those who have experienced this and have also had the chance of meeting others before and after experiencing this, which allows them to describe the contrasting changes.

Background information (sinthesis).

Alcoholism is a controversial  subject as it involves economic, cultural, social, psychological and biological elements which is why many investigations vary, more or less, depending on the focus used to describe and explore the phenomenon. This thesis  will not only address the problem from a Gestalt point of view, but will also view it form the field paradigm proposed by Goodman, which privileges contact and relations.

The A.A. twelve step program, as well as its literature, are based, on the most part, on Dr. William Duncan Silkworth’s work, in which he proposed that alcoholism was found in the body as an imperious desire for a drink but also in the mind as a mental obsession to drink. 

The imperious physical desire to drink is the reaction that emerges when an alcoholic has alcohol in his system. It’s important to emphasize that the desire begins after drinking, not before, this is the reason why in this program, as well as in the models used by it, alcoholism is treated as an allergy because of the simple fact that it manifests itself as an abnormal reaction to something. A clear example of this is when a person who does not suffer from alcoholism starts feeling dizzy or nauseous after a few drinks and decides to stop, an alcoholic, on the other hand, incapable of satisfying definitively his o her desire for the substance, carries on drinking no matter the consequences. The first drink consumed by the alcoholic that caused the allergy was in fact due to the mental obsession, that consists of a fixed idea that superimposes itself above all others. 

Silkworth (1939) also recognizes that alcoholics drink, initially, in order to elude  the uneasiness, irritation and/or discontent experienced while being sober, striding to feel calmer and happier. They evoke the pleasant sensation that they had the last time they drank and those memories are powerful enough to make the alcoholic succumb to the substance and trigger the allergy as soon as alcohol is consumed. 

The latter implies that the alcoholic experience surfaces as a creative adjustment, an attempt by the subject in question to assimilate from the environment that which is useful for his or her development and consolidate the heterogeneous elements into a new whole, nonetheless, the answer becomes rigid and before the appearance of a new situation, the alcoholic, unable or afraid of abandoning the safety that the known answer provides does not immerse into an aggression phase, destructive enough to assimilate the novelty.

The formation of a Gestalt, in a situation of alcohol dependancy, will be constantly interrupted by the emergence of a more relevant necessity, the need for the substance, this becomes paramount and organizes the behaviour of the individual until the need is satiated, subsequently, while withdrawal syndrome does not set in (it is not necessary to reach this stage, a simple craving will suffice) this phases into the background and yields its place to something important in the new now which will eventually be hindered, once more, by the imperious desire to drink. If contact consists in the formation of this figure then the constant necessity to drink becomes an interruption.

If the contact process is general, the development of the subject in question is inhibited, the interruption will result in a hinderance of psycho-social development in addition to a physical degeneration that the substance itself causes. As aspects of self in a simple and spontaneous act, the it, the ego and the personality represent the main stages of the creative adjustment, (Perls, Hefferline & Goodman 1951, p.195), in a situation of alcoholism, however, the id function includes proper organic agitations as well as the perception that the subject in question has of the environment around him, his possibilities and the unpleasant feelings that bind him to it. The ego represents the progressive identification of consumption possibilities, coupled with the successive alienation of any possibility that may present unpleasantness, which generates the personality function to lack a situation of novelty to assimilate, which is why instead of having a creative adjustment this becomes a conservative one. 

The self belongs to the organism and the environment which explains why it feels the essence of both, this is also why I incline myself towards Goodman’s paradigm proposing alcoholism as a field phenomenon in which each element is swayed by the other.

All around the world alcoholism is known as a disease and, even though the definition varies depending on the source, its common denominator is always a person that the literature defines as an alcoholic. In 1994, during the ninth revision of International Classification of Disease (ICD) the World Health Organization (WHO) substituted the term alcoholism, which it was catalogued in epigraph 303 of the glossary of disease as a non transmissible one, for the alcohol dependence syndrome. It is considered to be, in the clinical area with the most orthodox psychological approaches as a mental disorder, making its way into the scope of psychopathology that has, as an objective, the description of altered psychic manifestations (Luque & Villegrán, Restrepo 2007, p.124) Gestalt psychotherapy exposed its own vision of this very subject in what is known as its founding book: Gestalt Therapy: Excitement and Growth of the Human Personality, which proposes that any disturbance of the conscience is considered a psychopathology,  (Perls, Hefferline & Goodman, 1951, pp.xli) and more recently, explored through the work of Gianni Frencesetti that offers a psychological perspective  which is radically relational.

Francesetti (2015) consideres that the object of psychopathology must not be the individual but the field instead, the suffering, which in this case is the alcoholism, shouldn’t be placed on the patient if the phenomenon surges in a contact-boundary, which belongs to the organism as well as its environment. Owing to this Francesetti proposes the concept of “Psychopathological Field” as a phenomenological field that lacks a contact-boundary so that psychopathology, at least from Gestalt point of view, may place it’s sights on this. (p.70)

In Gestalt the person-environment fit or organism field is disclosed. It is difficult to think of the alcoholic experience of the field while avoiding to set the main focus on the organism and objectify it as soon as we add the alcoholic label to it. This is due to the influence of more prevailing orthodox focuses on the matter. 

Bibliography and sources.

• Alcohólicos Anónimos (3ª.ed.). (1976). D.F., México: Central Mexicana de Servicios Generales de Alcohólicos Anónimos, A.C.
• Arboleda, Luz M.; (2008). El grupo de discusión como aproximación metodológica en investigaciones cualitativas. Revista Facultad Nacional de Salud Pública,  Enero-Junio, 69-77.
• Brownell, P. (2015). Usando el contexto de la vida. Traducción de: Torres Siliceo, A. [original] Tomado de: (2010). The use of context of life. Gestalt Therapy; a guide to contemporary practice. New York: Springer Publishing Company. Pp.97-118.
• CIE-10 (1992). Trastornos mentales y del comportamiento. Madrid: Meditor.
• CONADIC. (2012). Encuesta Nacional de Adicciones 2011: Reporte de Alcohol. México: Instituto Nacional de Psiquiatría Ramón de la Fuente/Secretaría de Salud.
• Francesetti, G. (2015) De la sintomatología individual a los campos psicopatológicos. Hacia una perspectiva del campo sobre el sufrimiento clínico. Figura Fondo 38. pp.65-100.
• García Galarza, B. (2011) El Modelo Minnesota. Un método de tratamiento para las adicciones (Tesis de maestría). Universidad de Deusto.
• Gil Flores, J. (s/f) La metodología de investigación mediante grupos de discusión. Dpto. de Didáctica y Organización Escolar y MIDE. España: Universidad de Sevilla.
• Gutierrez Reynaga, R., Andrade Palos, P., Jiménez Tapia, A., & Juarez García, F. (julio-agosto de 2007). La espiritualidad y su relación con la recuperación del alcoholismo en integrantes de Alcohólicos Anónimos (AA). Salud Mental, 30(4), pp.62-68.
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La vida, la muerte, el amor y la suerte.

"Tan sutil como llegó, se habia ido. Sólo había una respuesta y aquella se encontraba en el fondo de la botella. ‘Si tan sólo hubiera…’ esa implacable sospecha, esa arraigada constante, no podía más que pensar en ello. Todo fue tan fugaz que ni lo recuerdo bien. ¿Le dije que la amaba? O quizás fue ella quien me lo dijo a mí. Ya no importa. Tal vez nunca importó. Lo recuerdo en esencia. Recuerdo aquello que sentí cuando nos besamos por primera vez. Recuerdo que ese momento era lo único que importaba, no me interesaba lo que había sucedido antes y mucho menos lo que sucedería después. Ese momento, tan implacable, tan candente… Vuelvo a pasear los hechos por mi mente. “La tomé de la mano… y luego, ¿qué hice?” Las memorias son peligrosas, tienen la mala costumbre de zambullirse en tu sangre y llegar hasta tu corazón, se bañan en sentimientos, salen empapadas de ellos y es así como las recuerdas. Lo recordaré objetivamente. Tan objetivo como me es humanamente posible. Es inútil, no puedo. Sólo sé que hoy en la mañana ya te habías ido. Que a tientas te buscaba pero tú no estabas. Creí que jamás regresarías, pero lo has hecho, me atormentas en mis pensamientos, me robas de mi sueño, el insomnio es el fruto de tu enraizada presencia. Me llueve sobre mojado y tú sólo lo absorbes, te nutres de mis pensamientos y creces. Creces tanto que me pesas. Creces tanto que me privas de la luz, lentamente me hundes en la sombra, al penumbroso olvido."

PRJCT HDS

The year is 2235, humans have made major advances in space travel. Over population and scarcity of resources have pushed humankind to expand throughout their solar system. Looking for valuable resources on other planets has become a lucrative business, this practice is now known as exo-mining. The largest exo-mining company, New Horizon, is now the richest organization known to man. Due to this, New Horizon counts with cutting edge technology in every area possible. The technological supremacy this exo-mining company possesses has turned it into a symbol of progress for humanity. Some say it is gaining too much power. 

New Horizon is a privately funded company and takes care of its own scientific research. Although the research is beneficial for the entire human race some question the ethics of experiments performed in the outer orbits of the solar system, away from prying government eyes, a virtually unregulated scientific haven...

*                    *                   *

“...As you know, we’ve been monitoring New Horizon’s comm traffic for quite some time now. We’ve spotted a space station that’s located near Neptune’s Orbit. Apparently it houses an ultra classified project, but this is not the sole reason we are going in. We have intercepted a message from New Horizon to this space station, the message requested status, we relayed the message. There has been no response. Communication blackout. Other messages have been sent as an attempt to contact the station, these have been met with no reply.”

Your head hurts, you’re guessing everyone else's does, your body has been dormant for many months inside the Trafalgar, a Battle Frigate. Your vision is blurry and your muscles twitch often, you haven’t stretched your arms, walked about, seen, heard or tasted anything in five months. You obviously feel like shit. You can see Captain Artis Fago’s weary eyes, the monotone in which he speaks. He too must feel like shit. The rest of the squad responds with grunts and gutturals to the captains languid briefing. It’s the first time you have experienced cryogenic preservation.

“Hang in there rook, cryogenic space travel is never pleasant.”

It’s Lieutenant Lewis who whispers this under the captains briefing. He’s in charge of your squad. He’s in charge of you, the rookie. You often feel like you’re a weight on his shoulders, like he’s babysitting you. You try your best but sometimes there are things that only experience can teach. Experience you lack. In spite of it all, Lieutenant Lewis has been patient and supportive of you.

“Our mission is to get there before New Horizon does, find out what they were researching, reason of communication blackout and any evidence of illegal research that can bring them down...”

The Captain sits down on the semi oval table where everybody else is sitted, there is a hole in the center of the table roughly the shape of a diamond, the Captain operates the control panel.

 “This here, ladies and gentlemen, is Project Hades.”

Captain Fago brings up a holographic map from the middle of the table. It’s a map of SS Harbinger, the space station you are going to investigate. As this figure is brought up, the lights dim allowing the hologram to become more visible, the briefing room is now mostly lit up by the holographic image, this gives the metallic surroundings a monochromatic orange tone. Seven orange faces are now giving their undivided attention to the holographic map, you decide it’s time to join in, you direct your attention to the map.

“It’s quite big...”

The calm female voice belongs to Specialist Anthea Kesla, tech expert of your squad. She can hack into any system, intercept any comm line or disarm any security system. 

“That’s why we are going in through two different airlocks. The space station is divided into two wings and a main passage way that leads to the main control center, there is a massive mess hall in the middle. In the left wing we have the crew’s living quarters, the hydroponic gardens responsible for the crews food and most of its oxygen, on the lower level we have the life support mechanisms and engine room, and finally we have the oxygen and water recycling facilities. On the right wing we have the work space, the computer terminals, here we will be able to control most of the systems of the station and we might find valuable information on what New Horizon might be researching. Also, on the right wing you will find the research laboratories, someone will have to escort  Dr. Niket to this area so he can determine the nature of the experiments.”

Andrei Niket is the quiet type. He doesn’t say much, he is almost always secluded in the labs, either reading or experimenting. He’s a hot shot biologist who specializes in genetic engineering, more specifically, genetic engineering of bio weapons. He’s also a part of our squad. 

“Okay people, don’t forget, this is an in and out operation, no one is supposed to tell we were there, so watch your step. From the intercepted messages we have drawn two possible conclusions. First one, something went terribly wrong and the whole crew is dead.  Second conclusion, something has damaged the station’s comms and they can’t seem to get them up for any reason. The first conclusion is the easy one, you go in, learn what we need to know and you get out. The second one, not so simple. You’d have to use the ventilation shafts and service corridors to move about and you’d have to rely on stealth to achieve our goal. Any questions?”

Everyone remains quiet.

“Good, now here’s the plan. Alpha, that’s Lieutenant Lewis and his squad, you are going in through the ships ventilation shafts, Specialist Kesla, you should be able to bypass and get those shafts open in no time. You can reach the computer terminals on the left wing from these vents.”

The Captains finger traces the vent route he is talking about.

“From there, Specialist Kesla, you can open an airlock for team Omega who will be getting into the station through the recycling facility. Everything that cannot be recycled is ejected to space through this airlock. After this Omega will have to check the life support systems and crews quarters to learn about the scientific and security team of this station and what their status is. From there it will be determined wether this will be a stealth mission or simply a salvage mission. Dismissed!”

“Alright Alpha Squad, on me!”

That’s your queue! Lieutenant Lewis rallies his squad, you stand between Specialist Kelsa and Dr. Niket awaiting orders.

“Lock and load your weapons ladies and gentlemen, ETA’s less than an hour. Check your gear.”

Lieutenant Lewis looks at everybody, he pauses on you, then he continues to speak. 

“Alpha, those vents are too narrow to squeeze the whole team in there, more than two would make us sitting ducks. For this reason we are going to split up...”

What do you dislike the most?

Hospitals, turn to page 4

Closed spaces, turn to page 12

“Rookie, you and Specialist Kesla will go in through the ventilation shafts, don’t think I’ve forgotten how you fainted at the sight of needles when we performed the med tests.”

There was general chuckling in the squad. You feel stupid. There he is again, Lieutenant Lewis protecting you once more. 

“Me and Dr. Niket will hold on just beyond the lab doors, first you will unlock the doors for Omega, we will wait for their sitrep, when they confirm that the station’s safe to board you can unlock the lab doors for us. You will be Alfa Bravo, we will be Alfa Charlie, understood?”

“Yes sir!”

The whole squad, including you, blurt out these words.

“Check your gear squad!”

You zip up your hostile environment suite and fix your helmet. You grab your assault rifle, an SSX-40, state of the art with recoil dampeners, magazine of forty rounds, heat discharge and features many customizable parts. You fix a flashlight into the bayonet rail. You check for jamming, you cock your weapon and put the safety on. 

Fifteen minutes later the pilot has a visual on the space station. You are about to arrive. Lieutenant Lewis says a few words before the deployment. You are not paying attention, you are nervous, your hands are sweating, you’ve been on very few missions and this is the first time you are going in with such little intel, who knows what you will find in there! Your stomach begins to gurgle. You want to puke. Right about now you realize just how thankful you are that Lieutenant Lewis was considerate of you and had you steer clear of the labs and medical bays. 

“ETA 5 minutes. Team Alpha, Team Omega begin boarding your respective shuttles.”

The voice in the intercom fades out. You and your squad double time it to the shuttle, you fasten your security harness as does everyone else. The intercom voice crackles back to life, this time inside the shuttle’s speakers.

“Good luck Alpha, Good luck Omega, we will be standing by. Trafalgar out.”

The shuttle’s engine roars, suddenly it shoots off into space. Through the observation windows of the shuttle you see Neptune. It’s beautiful. You lose yourself in the beauty of the planet, the many shades of blues, the hints of violet and green, the white strips that riddle the planet. For a moment you feel peaceful. All of the sudden the shuttle begins to circle the planet and reaches its dark side. The sun is eclipsed by the Ice Giant, you are plunged into darkness, all of your peaceful feelings go away, fear begins to kick back in. The IR sensors inside the shuttle activate catching on to the stations radiation immediately. 

Seconds later the shuttle touches down on the hull near the vent. You go out first. You switch on your visors IR sensor, you can see everything as clear as day again. No security mechs, no functioning cameras, no personnel. Everything is clear. You shout clear through your helmets radio. Specialist Kesla comes out of the shuttle pulling herself to the ventilation shaft through the vacuum. She rips a bit through the hull with one of her gadgets, exposes a few cables and bypasses the ventilations control in a matter of seconds, she looks towards the shuttle and gives a thumbs up. The shuttle begins to move to the second drop point. Kesla enters the ventilation shaft and you follow. 

Once inside the ventilation shaft you begin to feel real uneasy. You can barely fit in this narrow shafts and moving about quietly is quite difficult. 

“Shush! Try to be a bit more quiet.”

Kesla seems to be uneasy as well, maybe she does not trust your ability, rookie. 

You move through the narrow, dark and now increasingly hot ventilation shaft. As you go in deeper, moving gets a lot harder, even Kesla now begins to get careless and struggles to move a bit faster. After ten minutes of desperately worming yourself through the ventilation shafts you receive a transmission from Alfa Charlie.

“We’re in position, what’s your locus Bravo?”

You reply trying to hide your heavy breathing, but it’s just no use.

“We are on route” you say, “give us a minute to clear the ducts sir.”

You keep dragging yourselves until you see a light. Kesla enthusiastically whispers ‘that must be it!’ You hope it is it. Kesla looks through the vent on to the room below. She moves to the other side of the vent and invites you to check it out. You see a bunch of sleeping monitors. Not a single soul in the room. ‘It looks clear’ you say in a very low voice. Being as quiet as possible you remove the lid. You poke your head out, you see nothing so you jump down. The sound of you landing inside the room bounces off the walls. You stand still to make sure you don’t hear movement. After a moment you determine it is clear. Second later Specialist Kesla climbs down. 

“Keep your eyes and ears peeled while I open the airlock for Omega.”

While Kesla starts up a monitor you inform Alpha Charlie that you are in. 

“Roger that, keep me posted, Alpha Charlie out.”

Kesla’s incessant keystrokes fill the room. You look around every monitor is sleeping except one in the far corner. Near the blast door there is a memo written in red you cannot make out from that distance, also there is a door in this room that did not show on the holographic map, its control panel has been ripped off.

“There! Did it! Tell Omega that they are good to go.”

You relay the message.

“Roger that, Alpha, thanks for the assist.”

Specialist Kesla begins typing again. 

“I’m going to try to break through the firewall, I’ll see if I can get my hands on any classified info from here, why don’t you investigate, see if you find out anything useful. Just don’t touch anything we’ll regret”

Why not, after all, you have to wait for Omega to determine what happened to the crew.

Check out the monitor, turn to page 10

Check out the memo, turn to page 9

Check out the door, turn to page 7

You move in closer to examine the door. The control panel has been ripped off and there are a couple of exposed cables. You call Kesla but she does not respond, you can still hear the keystrokes. She must be very concentrated. You lean in for a closer look at the cables. ‘They look fried’ you think, you touch the cables with your finger to see if there is any current and you receive an electrical jolt, you jump up surprised, with a loud electrical crackle and a few sparks the lights go out. Short circuit? You hear Kesla calling out from behind you.

“Wha- what the hell did you do?” 

The door in front of you opens with a terrible amount of noise, your first concern, of course. Then you hear a low growl, a horrible sound! This is becomes your primary concern now! Your hands shake uncontrollably, you grab your assault rifle and turn the flashlight on. The light lands right on a set of very sharp teeth. What the hell was that?! You don’t want to find out, you scramble backwards away from the unknown creature. Your rifle falls to the floor and lights up one of the monsters limbs. It looks like a human leg, horribly deformed and in decomposition. Kesla walks towards.

“What the hell is going on?”

‘Stay back!’ you yell, but she does not listen, under the dim light originating from your flashlight you see the creature leap towards Kesla, it slashes at her with its scythe like hands and rips her into three. Panic takes over you, you crawl towards the door the monster came from in order to hide, but you leave your assault rifle. The room reeks of death, the most horrible smell imaginable. In that room you begin to think of your options. Shit! You got your specialist killed! Not after long you realize that the only way out is through the computer room. You are fresh out of luck...

You try to calm down, you lay as quiet as you can. Everything is dark and silent now. You take a glance, you see your assault rifle with the flashlight still on, right next to it you see the monsters back, its skin is a greenish pale tone, it’s spinal chord protrudes out of its skin in a very unnatural manner. A horrid creature. The assault rifle is to close to the creature, it’s not an option. You will have to make a run for the door and hope you are lucky enough to make it. 

You stay very still in the darkness trying to catch your breath. You convince yourself that everything will be alright, your whole body feels shaky, your legs feel rubbery and incapable of taking you all the way to the door. You shake the ideas and get ready to make a run for it...

Turn to the next page to make a run for it...

‘To hell with it’ you think, you spring yourself up to your feet and run like you’ve never ran before. You run on the side opposite to where the monster devours your former specialist. The creature lifts its head to see you. You keep running! You reach the door but it won’t budge. Damn it! You look at the control panel, it’s still running on emergency power, looks like you aren’t out of luck after all! Behind you you hear the monster approaching. You hear its horrid growls, its crooked steps, you can almost smell it! You hit the panel. Locked?! Wait! The only person who could ever bypass it in time would be Kesla. Looks like you were right the first time, fresh out of luck... You can now smell the monster, fetid husk of rotting flesh. You don’t dare look back. If only Kelsa were here... But no, she’s behind you dead, torn to pieces... and you are about to join her.

Better luck next time...

You approach the memo. It’s red letters are barely legible, looks like who ever wrote this must have been terrified, the first paragraph is impossible to decipher: 

...we began shaping our planet as we saw fit! We turned fertile earth into barren cities. First we built vessels to swim, soon we built machines to fly. But that was not enough for us, for we fancied ourselves Gods. And just as we imitated swimming fish and flying birds, we imitated God and built machines to create, but also machines to destroy.

 Men have defied their ‘false idols’, cast them out and sent them into oblivion! This is our punishment! The end is nigh!

We Created these things, we played God, now they are out to destroy us! God! We all beg for forgiveness!

‘What is this?’ you wonder, ’were they going mad?’ Scientists are not usually religious fanatics, something must have made this particular scientist change his mind...

Keep investigating, turn back to page 6

The console sits alone in the corner you look at the screen. You see a dialogue box asking for a username and password. The password box is blank but there is a username still written in the dialogue box, r.crick. Someone just signed out perhaps. If all other consoles are asleep except this one, it can only mean...

“Found anything rook?”

Kesla is still typing in commands.

You inform her of your findings.

“Hmm, it was on? It wasn’t you who turned it on or moved the mouse? These computers go into sleep mode after ten to twenty minutes of inactivity, depending on the users preferences. That can only mean someone was here not too long ago... Stay sharp, we might bump into some company.”

You nod your head.

“Looks like this terminal is the only one that can open that door, but the control panel has been ripped out... If someone went through the trouble of disabling it like that maybe its better to not tamper with it.”

Suddenly you hear static on your helmets comm.

“Alpha Bravo, do you copy? Over”

It’s Lieutenant Lewis. You tell him what you have found out, this disturbs him. 

“I’ve just spoken to the boys over at Omega, Dr. Bhattacharya and their Life Support engineer have both concurred that the ship has a surplus of oxygen due to the fact that no one is breathing it. Also the food rations haven’t been touched in days, the hydroponic gardens are drying up... Look if your suppositions are right, then we need to stay on our toes and keep our eyes peeled, but for now you have your orders, tell Specialist Kelsa that its alright to unlock the airlock to the med labs.”

“Done Lieutenant, you are Oscar Mike.” Says Kesla as she enters the las keystrokes

“Good work Alpha Bravo, stay safe, over and out.”

You look over at Kesla, she walks over to the terminal she was using before the Lieutenants transmission. She continues to try and hack into the confidential files with even more determination and curiosity, her glasses glare in front of the monitor, her fingers are fast and nimble. 

“There has to be a way to get through this...”

She looks a bit frustrated, maybe Anthea Kesla has finally met her match, a system she couldn’t crack. A few minutes later she finally speaks.

“Thought you could hide from me, huh? It’s done, let’s look at what these New Horizon pricks were hiding from us.”

You stand behind Kesla also looking at the screen, there are a lot of statistics and things you don’t understand.

“I’m no doctor, but I think they were... trying to bring people back to life or something... They were experimenting with induced genetic mutations on dead tissue... what?”

‘Are you getting this Lieutenant?’ You ask through your radio but you get no response...

“Relax rookie, the Lieutenant knows how to take care of himself, there must be something in the labs that is causing interference or...”

You recieve a strong burst of static through your helmets headset.

“This is Lewis, I’m heading to your position now!”

The Lieutenant is gasping for air... it sounds like he’s running..?

“Open the door to the computer terminals ASAP!”

The transmission cuts off from there, Kesla is already trying to get the bulk door open, a few seconds later you hear banging on the other side of the door. The banging stops, it’s replaced by shooting. Kesla looks at you, she looks frightened. You stand near the door as to give Lieutenant Lewis covering fire. Kesla gets the door open and in vaults the Lieutenant he pushes you to the ground and yells frantically.

“Shut the door! Shut it! Shut it! Shut the door!”

The door shuts and a few moments later you hear the sound of claws against metal. 

“...Dr. Niket?”

Kesla waits for an answer, Lewis tries to catch his breath. You stay still on the floor without saying a word. Finally Lewis speaks.

“I don’t know I lost him... I’m calling mission abort, intel really dropped the ball, they didn’t tell us we were going up against these things!”

“What things? We can’t just leave him!” Specialist Kesla sounds very concerned for him.

“Did you download everything you found onto your data pad?”

Lieutenant Lewis looks into Specialist Kesla’s eyes. Her eyes start to flood with tears. She nods. That means Kesla and the data are priority... we’re leaving him?

Escape! Turn to page 

Or be the hero and save Dr. Niket, turn to page

“Rookie, you and Dr. Niket will hold position outside the lab’s airlock, I know how bad your claustrophobia is.”

You shoot a glance at the rest of the squad, nobody is laughing at you. You feel stupid. There he is again, Lieutenant Lewis protecting you once more. 

“Me and Specialist Kelsa will infiltrate through the ventilation shafts, first we will unlock the doors for Omega, we will wait for their sitrep, when they confirm that the station’s safe to board we will unlock the lab doors for you. You will be Alfa Charlie, we will be Alfa Bravo, understood?”

“Yes sir!”

The whole squad, including you, blurt out these words.

“Check your gear squad!”

You zip up your hostile environment suite and fix your helmet. You grab your assault rifle, an SSX-40, state of the art with recoil dampeners, magazine of forty rounds, heat discharge and features many customizable parts. You fix a flashlight into the bayonet rail. You check for jamming, you cock your weapon and put the safety on. You look around to see if you are forgetting something, suddenly you spot your side arm. You almost forgot it! Your side arm is a Desert Eagle .50, it’s very old but in perfect working condition, it is one of the most powerful handguns ever made. A gift from your father, it is both your back up weapon and your lucky charm. You holster your side arm. You are ready. 

Fifteen minutes later the pilot has a visual on the space station. You are about to arrive. Lieutenant Lewis says a few words before the deployment. You are not paying attention, you are nervous, your hands are sweating, you’ve been on very few missions and this is the first time you are going in with such little intel, who knows what you will find in there! You begin gasping for air. You are about to choke, but you fight it. Right about now you realize just how thankful you are that Lieutenant Lewis was considerate of you and had you steer clear the ultra narrow ducts. 

“ETA 5 minutes. Team Alpha, Team Omega begin boarding your respective shuttles.”

The voice in the intercom fades out. You and your squad double time it to the shuttle, you fasten your security harness as does everyone else. The intercom voice crackles back to life, this time inside the shuttle’s speakers.

“Good luck Alpha, Good luck Omega, we will be standing by. Trafalgar out.”

The shuttle’s engine roars, suddenly it shoots off into space. Through the observation windows of the shuttle you see Neptune. It’s beautiful. You lose yourself in the beauty of the planet, the many shades of blues, the hints of violet and green, the white strips that riddle the planet. For a moment you feel peaceful. All of the sudden the shuttle begins to circle the planet and reaches its dark side. The sun is eclipsed by the Ice Giant, you are plunged into darkness, all of your peaceful feelings go away, fear begins to kick back in. The IR sensors inside the shuttle activate catching on to the stations radiation immediately. 

Seconds later the shuttle touches down on the hull near the vent. Lieutenant Lewis goes in first, he takes a look around and yells clear, seconds later Specialist Kelsa leaves the shuttle.

“In position Alfa Charlie, this is where we part ways. Good luck.”

The shuttle lifts off again and advances towards your LZ, you’re anxious, sweating bucket loads. The doctor sees you through your visor. He lets out a laugh, not any laugh, a nervous laugh. He’s maybe nervous because he knows about that experience you lack, hell, the inexperience is leaking from your face! He touches your shoulder.

“Relax rookie, you’re going to dehydrate if you keep sweating like that.”

He’s voice is playful, he makes you laugh. You relax. Your shuttle is reaching its LZ 

“In position Alfa Charlie. Omega’s in, stand by for sitrep.”

Alfa Bravo is in position and you are about to be, now you play the waiting game. You hate waiting. The shuttle touches down near a blast door. You make sure everything is clear and then signal Dr. Niket. You take position near the door and wait. Minutes later you recieve another transmission from Alfa Bravo.

“Omega has determined that non of the crew is alive, nobody is eating the food rations, drinking the water or breathing the oxygen. You’re good to go Alfa Charlie.”

The blast doors open, you ready your assault rifle just in case, you point it at the opening door. As the door opens you see a service corridor, only the emergency lights are on, main power must be offline. Everything is horribly dark, you try to adjust your eyes but the fact is simple, visibility is terribly low. 

“According to the scans the labs are over to the right, we must go there at once.”

Dr. Niket signals towards the labs direction. You take point. The narrow corridors begin closing in on you, as you walk you feel your legs go rubbery. You are very nervous, never the less you are alert and you are doing everything by the book. The service corridors are clear. You reach the lab doors. Locked. Why can’t anything just be simple?

You request assistance from Alfa Bravo, they comply. Specialist Kelsa has the door open within seconds. Damn she’s good!

“We go in.”

Dr. Niket’s russian accent always makes everything sound so dramatic...

You reach a big lab, the lights are out. There are several cages on the far side of the door though you cannot see their contents due to the vague light. You survey the room for hostiles. Clear.  There are two computer monitors, one of them is broken, looks like a bullet hole tore through the first one, the second one seems to be in working conditions. Dr. Niket moves to the far side of the room to check the cages for any evidence, he has his weapon drawn. With the flashlight of your assault rifle you inspect further. The lab floor is full of blood. What happened here?

“Chërtov!”

                You look at Niket and he has his hand held up to where his mouth is in a symbolic manner since he is wearing his hostile environment suite. He walks hurriedly away from the cages.

“All the animals in the cages have been dead for weeks.”

You walk through the maze of littered desks and chairs in the lab. You point your assault rifle at one of the cages and see dead animals within. Dead dogs, dead cats, dead chimps... wait this cage is empty. Upon closer inspection you realize that the bars are slashed through and twisted. What ever was in that cage clawed its way out. You inform Dr. Niket. 

“Roger that, stay sharp.”

You keep investigating, your trigger finger is itchy in the promise that there is a very nasty creature capable of clawing its way out from a metal cage. 

“The scans showed the labs to be much bigger...”

Dr. Niket’s right, you look around and you see another door. There is a sign that reads ‘Incubator Room’, as if this place wasn’t creepy enough. You decide to take a closer look at things. 

Check out the computer, turn to page 15

Check out the cages, turn to page 16

Check out the incubator room, turn to page 19

You touch the computers screen and it comes back to life. Lucky you! The computer is already logged in as Martin Gallegos, and it’s got a high level of clearance too. You browse through files. There are some private logs, there are vast amounts of information and really no time so you decide to skim through: You keep reading

Project Hades Initiates: Finally, we have been given go to initiate Project Hades. I think the name,  Project Hades, is quite appropriate due to the secrecy of the Project. The unseen, the underworld, although I would have liked the name Project Lazarus better. But alas when we voted upon... 

You keep scrolling.

Day 10: There has been much advancement made in the first ten days, though we have no results to show for it, there is something we are missing. The fact is Dr. Miyamoto has been pushing for...

Day 45: It is incredible. We have not managed to bring dead tissue back to life, however, we have managed to induce unusual mutations on dead tissue through certain types of X5 and Gamma radiations. The process is quite complex, in fact...

You keep scrolling, there is an entry that immediately catches your eye.

Day 163: We did it! We managed to bring a lab rat back to life! This is the first time in history we have been able to undo death! The rat seems to be operating with about 3% of its brain capacity, seems to have lost all memory or instinct. It’s a mindless hunk of meat, its only reaction to stimuli is aggression. Funny thing though, its respiratory system seems to be inactive, what could cause this? I will look into this. Anyway, our goals have been met. It is time to begin testing on human subjects. I will keep this entry brief as we will be celebrating... 

Human subjects? This is all the information you need to bring New Horizon to justice. Testing on humans is strictly prohibited by any law. The rest of the log describes advancements day by day with a few personal notes. The last entries seem to show a gradual insanity developing. The last note reads as follows:

I’m sorry for my sins, I should have never come here. What made me think we had the right to leave our planet and play God? Undoing death? What were we thinking? There is a damn good reason why living things die and they are meant to stay that way. Somewhere alongside all our ‘intelligence’ we failed to see that. This is my last log. Veronica, I’m sorry for leaving you to come to this place. I love you. 

Martin Gallegos.

You call Dr. Niket so he can see what you have found. He begins skimming through, draws out his datapad and downloads all info. He begins searching the computer for more files. He finds details on the experiments, statistics, elements, experiment composition and a lot of background data. 

“Looks like they wanted to bring people back to life... but to what purpose?”

Keep investigating, turn back to page 14

You walk to the cages pointing your assault rifle’s flashlight at them. Some cages are so full of blood you can see it flooding over to other cages or dripping down to the ground. You reach the first cage and you try to determine how the dog in it was killed. Before you can draw a conclusion you hear noise coming from one of the cages. You point your assault rifle at the cage and suddenly you hear claws against the metal floor of the cage making a horrible screeching sound that makes every hair in your body stand up straight. You hesitate wether to shoot or not. Not before long what ever is in that cage begins to slam itself against the cage door. Your blood grows cold, your heartbeat accelerates, you begin gasping for air. The rattling cage gets ever louder. You look back at Dr. Niket and he looks pale as death. You are both scared out of your minds!

Shoot the cage, turn to page 17

Open the cage, turn to page 18

You open fire on the cage, the sound of shooting and bullets against metal rings all over the room. These loud noises abruptly come to an end. Silence fills the room. You look at Dr. Niket, he still looks frightened. Carefully, you reach out to the cage door and open it, immediately you jump back and you point your assault rifle at it. Inside the cage lies a dead cat. Damn it... you didn’t do it on purpose, you were scared. Dr. Niket pats you on the shoulder as if telling you it wasn’t your fault. But you know it was. You gotta keep that itchy trigger finger of yours in check.

Keep investigating, turn back to page 14

 

You get closer to the cage and shine your flashlight to see what’s inside. Two fluorescent eyes catch yours and startle you. The cage is still rattling the creature inside is now letting out a series of high pitched noises. You look at Dr. Niket, he has his weapon ready. You signal him to shoot at anything hostile that comes out of that cage. Your hand is about to unlock the slamming cage door. You can see it shaking in the dim lights. You unlock the door and it swings open with a lot of force, as the creature leaps out of the cage it lets out a terrified cry though you recognize the sound. It was just a cat. Oh man... well at least you didn’t shoot it. Relax! You gotta keep it together!

Keep investigating, turn back to page 14

The incubator room is lit by nothing more than the lights of the glass incubating tanks filled with a green slightly yellowish liquid. This paints the whole room an eerie green tone which gives it a very disturbing air. The first thing that catches your eyes is a dead man on a chair behind a desk. His head hangs back and his mouth is wide open. His wrists are slit, underneath him there is a huge puddle of blood, he has a scalpel  in his left hand. You get in closer and you read his name tag: Gallegos. Poor bastard. You look at the incubators, human embryos? These people were way out of line. You are beginning to feel glad you volunteered for this mission. You get closer to the tubes and notice that there are many embryos in different stages of development. Some as small as an orange segment, others already have hair and even eyelashes. Staggered, you turn around to tell Dr. Niket what you have found when you hear bubbling inside one of the tanks. You choke, your throat cannot emit any sound. You turn around slowly and get closer to the tank you suspect the bubbling came from. You look into the tank and you see a fully formed baby. His tiny eyes are shut tightly and you wonder if he ever had a chance to open them. ‘It could’ve been anything,’ you think, just when you are about to turn around you see the the baby’s eyes opening to reveal a horrible hump of red flesh protruding from his eye sockets. 

You stumble back in surprise. You sit up and you stare in awe. The baby in the glass tank begins to wiggle and then you experience  the most gruesome scene imaginable! Something begins to poking through the inside of the baby’s skin around the shoulders. Are those tentacles!? The tentacles come out from the baby’s back and shoulders, they grow three times as long as the baby’s body. You begin pushing your self back! Shit you dropped your assault rifle when you stumbled back! You lean forward to grab it but just then the baby breaks out of the tank. The green yellowish liquid falls all over you, the baby lands on the back of your head and it grips tightly around your neck as if not to fall. The grip is so tight that its actually asphyxiating you. Wait! It’s not holding on, it’s strangling you and it’s doing a damn good job! You squirm around the pool of incubator liquid. You can’t get him off! You try to reach the assault rifle but it’s too far, as you reach you feel a shard of glass slice your lower back. You try to yell out in pain but you don’t have enough air. Wait your side arm! You had forgotten all about it, again! You pull it out with every intention of blowing that baby’s head clean off but just your luck, in your hasty desperation you pull out the gun but the green liquid is slippery and you drop your gun. Your vision begins to fade, you feel weak, you begin to accept your fate... Fate? What fate! Don’t give up now! The gun couldn’t have fallen far. Reach for your gun damn it! KEEP READING THIS IF YOU WANT TO REACH FOR YOUR GUN!  Your palm pats the ground looking for it. You feel something! You keep patting and you feel the slide of your pistol! Time to put this baby to sleep! You point your gun just above your head and you shoot the baby right off. 

You gasp for air, you sit up and see that the baby is still moving, you shoot it again and it lets out a horrible shriek. You catch your breath and grab your assault rifle. Why didn’t Dr. Niket come to your aid? You go back into the main labs. Niket isn’t there. Where is he?

You look around the room for clues but instead of finding something you find that there’s something else missing as well. The scientists body that was dead on the chair. Everything's getting too strange. You call over to Alfa Bravo they respond. You tell them what happened.

“We’ve encountered some sort of creatures as well we should rendezvous, hold position we’re on our way to you.”

You wait for them. They’re taking too long. You don’t like being alone, you jump at every sound until you notice it’s the sound of the hull expanding and contracting because of exposure to different temperatures. You ask yourself what the hell could be going on, what the hell could they be trying to find. Finally after minutes which seemed like hours the rest of your squad arrives. You fill them in on the details and express your concern for Dr. Niket. You want to say you are sorry, but it won’t change a thing.

“I’m pulling the plug on this whole thing, our intel was bad, get ready to get the hell out of here.”

Specialist Kesla looks surprised and confronts the Lieutenant. 

“What? You’re just going to leave him?”

“The mission is top priority Specialist, we need to get this info over to the Trafalgar.”

You want to help Dr. Niket as well but Lieutenant Lewis is right...

Are you going to follow orders, turn to page 23

Or are you going to right your wrongs, turn to page 21

“We can’t leave him!” You say.

Kesla looks at you and faintly smiles. Lieutenant Lewis looks amazed at your spontaneous Bravery. You wait for their answers.

“I’m with you.”

Kesla stands at your side and looks at the Lieutenant. Lewis doesn’t like the fact you both are putting the mission on jeopardy because of one crew member, but he likes the thought of leaving him less. 

“You’re right, nobody’s left behind.”

Lieutenant Lewis looks at you, places his hand on your shoulder and nods his head, apparently he’s proud of you. 

“Omega, this is Alfa do you read, over.”

Yes, that’s a great idea, if we could rendezvous with Omega they would be able to assist us in getting Dr. Niket out... But there was no reply. Lieutenant Lewis tries once more, twice more, nothing.

“Trafalgar, this is Alfa, over.”

“Trafalgar here Alfa, damn good to hear from you, we’ve been trying to reach you without success, what’s your status?”

“We were attacked by some kind of creature, have you heard from Omega?”

“Creature?”

“We’ll fill you in later, please answer my question Fago.”

“...We’ve been trying to reach them, we lost contact with them about twenty minutes ago... We’re just glad you’re still operational Alfa.”

“Damn... we were hoping for assistance, we have lost Dr. Niket, we intend to find him.”

“Negative Alfa, the mission is top priority. Get what ever you have found back to the ship, prepare for extraction.”

“Negative Trafalgar, we are not leaving him behind.”

“The mission...”

“Look Trafalgar, it’s this simple, you can either help us by getting a fix on Niket’s possition or you can stay out of our way.”

“Damn it Lewis! I knew you couldn’t be trusted to do the hard thing when the time came, too soft, too idealistic from the start...”

There was silence over the comms. 

“I admire your resolve Lewis, I’ll get you Niket’s location... I trust you not to get killed.”

“Thank you Captain...”

“Niket’s readings show up in the mess hall, inside one of the food storage. He seems to be static, like our boys in Omega... Lewis, I’m afraid he’s dead.”

“I have to make sure.

“Okay Lewis, your call, just one thing... if you go to the mess hall you should go to the bridge, there might be more valuable information there, we can also extract you from there. There are two ways to get there. You can go through the service tunnels or you can go through the main corridors. The service tunnels may get you there undetected but the passages are narrow. On the other hand, the main corridors are wider, you’d be able to maneuver freely and you already know what to expect. Your call Lieutenant.”

“Thank you Trafalgar, Alfa out.”

The Lieutenant ends transmission and looks at you and Kesla.

“I saw the main halls, there are too many of them, we might not have enough ammo to cut through them, we’re taking the maintenance tunnels.” 

Specialist Kesla steps in.

“With all due respect sir, we were in the vents, if we had encountered one of those creatures we would have been in deep shit, if we have space to maneuver we might not need to shoot them all.”

The Specialist and the Lieutenant argue over which route to take. You have no idea which would be the wisest choice. You keep your mouth shut. After a few minutes Lieutenant Lewis finally decides what to do. 

“Since we can’t seem to make up our mind I’ll leave it to the rookie.”

Kesla seems incredulous

“What? Leading the team is your job! You can’t just leave it to the rookie!”

“We’ll vote on it. I vote for the service tunnels.”

Kesla now looks uneasy, she looks at you.

“I say we go through the main corridors.”

“Well rookie, where does your vote go?”

Service Tunnels, turn to page 25 OR Main Corridors, turn to page 26

“Trafalgar, this is Alfa, over.”

“Lewis? Damn good to hear your voice, we lost Omega, we had been trying to reach you but we didn’t get response.”

“Sorry about that Captain, we run into some trouble... We lost Dr. Niket...”

“Damn it...”

Captain Fago pauses for a brief moment and then carries on.

“Dr. Niket knew the risk involved when he volunteered for this mission. I want all the details as soon as you arrive at the Trafalgar I’m sending the shuttle over, hold tight, Trafalgar out.”

Lewis looks around and then looks at us

“The shuttle will be arriving at Alfa Charlie’s LZ we should hole up there until the shuttle arrives. ETA 15 minutes.”

You wait for a few minutes without much happening, you hole up in the best place you find to defend your position but it looks like it won’t be necessary. Suddenly you hear crashing crystals from the incubator room. That can’t be good news… You had to open your mouth!

“Keep an eye out people, I think we’re going to have company real soon.”

A very small baby like creature emerges from one of the top vents catching you and the others by surprise. It hangs from the ceiling but does nothing. Lieutenant Lewis and  hesitates as to whether to shoot or not. You want to shoot it but it might alert other nearby enemies, you decide to shoot it as soon as it becomes a real threat. Without warning the baby like creature springs from its tentacles and opens its mouth wide. It shrieked in such an unnatural manner that you felt your spine being shanked, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up like needles. Then you realize that the creature is alerting others of its kind of your presence. You shut it up with a burst of your assault rifle, the tiny body falls to the floor. Too late you begin hearing creatures closing in from every side. One of the creatures appears into sight. It’s a humanoid with lumps of rotting flesh everywhere. It has razor sharp bone structures coming out of its hands, as it gets closer you notice its wearing a New Horizon Security uniform. These monsters! They’re the crew! You open fire, the creature falls, as a Pavlovian bell, the gunfire calls all the other creatures to eat. They swarm you! Your whole squad opens fire. You can hear Lieutenants Lewis’s muffled voice over the gun fire shouting ‘don’t stop firing!’ You follow that order without hesitation. You reload once every minute, thank God for the heat discharge systems of your gun that’s keeping it from completely overheating. 

“ETA thirty seconds gentlemen, be ready to leave at once.”

The shuttle’s pilot! You are saved! You just have to hold on thirty more seconds. The bodies on the corridor were now piling up, there were so many of them and they kept coming! Twenty seconds later Specialist Kelsa begins to bypass the blast door. You have one less gun firing so now your aim has to be true. You keep piling up the monsters carcasses but they are getting closer with every passing second. Your backs are almost completely against the door, there is barely enough space for Kelsa to bypass the door!

The door is open! Kesla is the first one to jump into the shuttle waiting outside the door. You and Lewis keep firing! Lewis signals you to jump into the shuttle, you comply and once inside you continue to give him covering fire, finally Lewis jumps into the shuttle which immediately dusts off you lean out to look down the monsters exit into the hull of the space station, into vacuum. ‘Of course’ you think, they don’t breath...

On the way back to the Trafalgar you finally get to rest. You made it out! You survived your first mission, somehow you don’t feel the same, like you’ve grown up, no thanks to those five months on cryo though. You begin to review the mission on your mind,  Niket’s gone… It could’ve been anyone, it could’ve been you. You realize that you’ve had enough of this to go around a lifetime, you don’t want to think about it anymore, the shuttles window displays star filled vacuum. It’s peaceful and beautiful. You ponder about the universe, its expansion, how it can be so beautiful and peaceful but dark and dangerous at the same time, maybe your ancestors were asking themselves the same thing about the ocean once… You realize you’re very tired and you eventually doze off into a dream...

You vote for the service tunnels.

“Well Kelsa, you heard the man.”

You might go undetected, and that would boost your chances of survival. The service tunnels run underneath main corridors. You find a small metal ladder in the corner of the main corridor. Lieutenant Lewis descends first, Kelsa Follows, finally you go down. You got the rear flank. You move steady at first without encountering any problems but you eventually bump into a creature, the Lieutenant opens fire on it and it automatically drops dead. Easy does it, right? You hear the shots echoing towards the far stretches of the service tunnels. Lieutenant Lewis keeps moving and you follow. After a few minutes more you hear growling in the corridors in front and behind you. Lieutenant Lewis looks back at Kelsa and you with deadpan expression, seconds later the tunnels begin to flood with all kind of monstrous creatures. You look back and you see there are creatures trying to flank you from the rear as well. Monsters drop and you keep firing, Lieutenant Lewis also fires incessantly. After a few minutes the bodies begin clogging up the tunnels. You can’t advance and they just keep coming!

twenty minutes later you and your squad are all out of ammo. The creatures keep coming you begin to club them with your assault rifle but they are relentless eventually one catches your leg and you scream in anguish, the creature drags you into the darkness. You hear Kelsa and Lewis calling after you, after a minute the only thing you can hear is this monster dragging your body. The creature decides it’s finally the time to feast on you, your last seconds are spent in agony as it digs its teeth repeatedly into your body. 

You are dead in your narrow tomb now... try to keep an open mind next time.

You vote for the main corridor, you are going to need maneuverability if you are to get out of this one. 

“Alright rookie, I hope your intuition serves us right. Ok, here’s the plan. We go through the main corridors and make a run for it. We shoot only what we cannot dodge, save your ammo we might need it. Once in the mess hall we spread out and look for Dr. Niket. Understood?”

“Yes sir!” 

You and Specialist Kelsa sound off at the same time. Lieutenant Lewis opens the door and pokes his head out.

“All clear, stay on your toes, we wouldn’t like to alert these things.”

You exit into the corridors and begin to double time it. The corridors are empty. Lucky you. You jog for about 10 minutes until you reach the mess hall doors. Specialist Kelsa begins to over ride the door. 

“No worries, it’s the mess hall, encryption must be light.”

Said and done, ten seconds later Kesla has that door open. Lewis leans in for a look and leans back up.

“Shit! The mess hall is crawling with them!”

You lean in and confirm the fact. The expansive mess hall could sit four hundred people at once. There are a lot of those creatures but they are spread out thin.

“ Dr. Niket is in that storage room right there. Here’s the plan, Specialist Kelsa and I will enter the room and open fire, this should draw the creatures attention to us. When you see that the creatures are really interested in us you are going to extract Dr. Niket, we’ll rendezvous in the bridge which is at the other side of the mess hall.”

You are ready. You feel adrenaline pumping into your veins and heart. Kelsa and Lieutenant Lewis run into the room and open fire. You hear shrieking and growling as the bullets tear through the creatures skin.

“Go Rookie! Go now!”

You run into the room with your assault rifle drawn, you see Lewis is on top of one of the mess tables, he shoots down at the monsters trying to climb atop his table. Specialist Kelsa, a lot more subtle, is barricaded on the other side with a pistol helping Lieutenant Lewis not get over run. You spot the food storage door. You run as fast as you can you jump onto the long military issue mess tables and you run on top of them. You don’t draw much attention and reach the door without problems. You try to open the door but it’s locked. You bang with your fists on the door and call out for Niket. The door opens.

“Rookie?”

“Let’s get out of here!” You say

“I can’t my leg is hurt, I thought I was going to die here for sure.”

You take things into your own hands. You stretch Dr. Niket’s legs and you swing him over your back. You turn around and run! You see both the Lieutenant and Specialist Kelsa backing up into the corridors, the Lieutenant signals you to go ahead without them. You obey. The mess hall is pretty much clear now and you easily make your way to the other corridor, the one that leads to the bridge. When you reach the bridge you find a blast door you cannot get through. You lay Dr. Niket on the ground and draw your assault rifle. Nothing. Dr. Niket also has his weapon drawn, he looks more scared than you do. A few minutes later you hear footsteps. It’s them.

“Good work rookie! Specialist, get that door open ASAP.”

Kelsa nears the door and begins to bypass.

“This one will take me longer, the bridge is the most important room.”

Lewis nods.

“Alfa to Trafalgar, do you copy?”

“Roger Alfa, we’re here, what’s your situation?”

“We are trying to bypass the bridge door, we’ve successfully extracted Dr. Niket and will be needing extraction pretty soon.”

“Roger Alfa, evac’s on its way.”

“There it’s open!”

Kesla stands back and the doors open automatically. 

“Damn good job Specialist.”

You carry Dr. Niket into the bridge room and you lay him gently near a wall. He thanks you. Kelsa locks the doors and joins Lewis. They are digging up information on the bridges monitors. 

“They aren’t mindless husks.”

Dr. Niket looks at you with frightened eyes. You don’t really get what he’s trying to say, maybe he is delirious, in pain. 

“In the mess hall, they... they ambushed me, that’s how I got this.”

Dr. Niket points at his leg’s wound.

“The monsters... they are the crew, horribly transformed by experiments gone out of hand. I met a scientist after escaping from the labs, he was hiding in the restrooms. He was mortally wounded, it was only a matter of time... His name was Crick, I find that ironic since one of the discoverers of the DNA double helix structure was named Crick.”

Dr. Niket chuckles to himself.

“He gave me this written confession. He said this document contains everything everyone needs to know... They were trying to find a way to make human beings regenerate, in theory they would be able to bring people back from the dead with this... Regeneration... Do you know what that would mean? Regenerate lost limbs, close bullet holes in a matter of hours... We’d even stop aging. After several failed attempts they found a way to bring dead tissue back to life, first a mouse. They thought it was useless at first, since the revived life form was a mindless piece of meat. But then they saw that the tissue would not only regenerate, it would also generate extra limbs, extra organs... they were about to pull the plug after they met an obstacle they could not over come, but then they figured they could use these monsters as troops for a future war, every dead enemy soldier would become a horrid creature to put on the battlefield. These, he said, could be used as shock troops, imagine the psychological impact it would cause a soldier to shoot a monster wearing his own uniform. A bioweapon, that’s all they wanted after they failed to create viable genetic modifications in our genetic code.

Lieutenant Lewis and Kelsa are still gathering information. Minutes later the evac shuttle arrived. I carried Dr. Niket into the shuttle. Lieutenant Lewis and Specialist Kelsa finish sweeping the rest of the room and finally board the shuttle.

You made it! You survived! It was not easy but you live to fight another day. Dr. Niket is now unconscious, he has lost a lot of blood but is stable. You tell Lieutenant Lewis what Dr. Niket told you in the bridge. You give the written confession to you commanding officer and relax. You have everything you need to bring down New Horizon, they will pay for this inhumane research and its disastrous outcome. You can now sit back and enjoy the ride...

You arrive at the Trafalgar, Captain Fago conducts the debriefing. Dr. Niket is being taken care of. After the debriefing you exit the conference room and find that Lieutenant Lewis is waiting for you in the passage.

“You did good rookie.” 

Lieutenant Lewis puts his arm around your neck.

“I might even push your name forward for a promotion.”

“Thank you sir, but let’s talk it over five months from now, I really need a nap.”

You walk towards the cryogenics room while yawning. Lieutenant Lewis chuckles.

“Then a rookie you shall be for five more months.”